My cat has fleas.

My cat is also in heat.

These things add up to me not being a fan of said cat at the moment.

Work was acceptable. Spurts of being busy interspersed with plateaus of calm. Freshmen are jerks. Got to listen to a coworker talk about how she wants to get engaged soon. This is a coworker whom I would often talk about Mike, and what we hoped for in the future with our respective boyfriends.

Though I'm not trying to, the longer it's been since we separated, the less broken up about it I am. Also, the less likely I am to say confidently that I'd take him back. I don't know anymore. I mean, I wonder if the only thing that was keeping us together was the fact that we were in love. Love is not enough to make a relationship work, I've found. The thing I miss most about him is the fact that I got to be the only person who knew all of those things about him. I had someone to notice scrapes that I got, and be concerned for my well-being. I had someone who would call and say goodnight every night. I had someone to worry about. We went through a lot together- a lot of things that really should have broken us up on multiple occasions. It was a miracle that kept us together.

Even if he told me he wanted me back right now, I don't know what I would say. It's completely impossible to return to what we had without incident. We couldn't just pretend that this didn't happen. And I wouldn't want to. This is important, even if we don't end up back together. I'm learning a lot about myself, and he's giving himself the space he needs to make plans for the future.

I am almost certain that this was always meant to be a breakup, not a break. I'm starting to be okay with this. It makes me sad.