My boyfriend of one and a half years just broke up with me. I have never been this deeply heartbroken in my entire life. I honestly do not know what to do with myself. I didn't see this coming, and there wasn't anything I could say to dissuade him from his decision. His answer to my asking him if he loved me was to rephrase it and answer "I care about you." The fact that he can be so cold whenever we had relationship discussions always unnerved me, but never more than this time. I essentially just got it's not you- it's me'd. It was as though it was easy for him to throw away our relationship. Though I know that's not really fair.
And though I'm heartbroken and upset, and angry a little bit on top of it all, there is nothing I wouldn't do to have him back in my life. This was a love I'd never felt before, and I am so sad to see it slip away from me. I just love him so much. It's hard to understand that the feeling isn't mutual anymore. I wonder how long it's been like this.
I hate myself for being able to say I'd wait for him. Wait for him to change his mind, realize how important I am. Especially since it's all so purile and meaningless. I feel like the carpet was yanked out from under my feet. I don't feel whole.
Tomorrow morning is going to be horrible.
HEY. I read this. It's on my blogroll.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that he broke up with you. That is pretty sad. I do, however, feel that maybe you'll pull through. You might feel like you'd do anything to get him back now, but I think that's because he was the one that walked away. It's like wanting what you can't have. And I know you loved him, I remember you talking about that. You seemed very loyal to him.
Just remember that life goes on and I think you're awesome, and so I know you will be happy again. If you need me, I'd like to say I'm always available, but I work alot. THEREFORE, I will just tell you that I'll be driving Family Housing the next few days if you want to catch up with my bus.
*GIANT HUG*