I have waxed and waned in my romantic and physical needs over the years. There were year-long stretches where I wanted no emotional attachments, and only wanted sex. It was easier when I was in a bad place to not have anyone there with me. For the first time in my life, I'm feeling good about where I am. I have a new job that pays better than anything I've ever had, and I have health insurance! (which is great, because I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis, and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.) I'm comfortable with myself, what I'm doing, and my life situation. I've been single for more than two years at this point, by conscious choice. There've been a few fellows I've gone out with a time or two that nothing came from. Now that I'm satisfied with my place in life, and emotionally prepared for romantic involvement it seems that men are coming out of the woodwork to offer me no-strings-attached sex.

Now, part of me wants to be flattered by this. A small part, admittedly. At this point, in the last month, at least 3 men have contacted me to let me know that they would be happy to keep me company and then leave as soon as we were done fucking. One from a date like 4 years ago added me on facebook and asked for advice on his recently opened marriage as an excuse to be all "hey, let's fuck with no feels." A fellow I was sleeping with the past year or so who specifically told me to not grow feelings at him had contacted me a few times since I moved, and most recently by email to more pointedly say "hey, let's keep fucking only more since you're closer!" And then this guy with a girlfriend in another country I see on a weekly basis has made no secret of the fact that he'd be happy to keep me company while she's gone. I don't know when it happened, but I'm just not that person anymore. I don't have the energy to expend on sleeping with someone, exposing myself, my insecurities and vulnerabilities only to be tossed aside the next day. I can't do it anymore, and while it's not the fault of the dudes, they're seriously getting to me at this point. Am I not worth more than that? I'm so fucking awesome, that can't be true. I would just rather they leave me alone than remind me that I'm not worth the emotional investment.