Everything I have is broken. My laptop is on its last legs. If my phone had service to it, it would still barely function: it turns off randomly when you set it down, the sliding mechanism is broken so that it permanently orients the screen sideways unless I hold the side of the screen with my thumb- and it never got internet. My MP3 player with the functioning headphone jack is so old (2004!) that it's run out of writes on its flash memory (which is all anyone can guess is wrong with it, no other suggestions match up to the list of problems) and it is stuck with the music I have on it- can't take any off or put any on. I've tried reformatting it completely, and my laptop says it's empty despite the music content of the player remaining unchanged. The headphones I got as a gift for being at Dial for 3 years broke within 4 months of using them for the first time, and the earbuds a friend gave me as some kind of stopgap replacement are already on their last leg. I have an iPod video from a while back that functions perfectly except that the headphone jack needs replacing (and the battery too, to be honest.) There is no money to fix anything, and very likely won't be any anytime soon. Hoping to get the foodstamps phone in the mail so that I can have a phone number to put on applications for holiday temporary labor to help alleviate the pressures of taking ALL OF THE HOURS at my minimum wage job. Though I guess I'll still have to take the hours, I'll just not be given to a storm of panic when I don't have enough.

Oh, and I'm broken too, turns out. Technician at the plasma center advised me to go see a doctor as the last 3 times I've gone in and tried to donate, I've been turned away from my pulse being too high. Tried several relaxation techniques, getting there in time to have my pulse return to resting- every time they measure it it's over the maximum allowable rate by a considerable amount. After the last time the technician suggested that if what is causing this is anxiety, that it's affecting my heart and I should go see someone about it. It's funny for the lady at the place to sell your bodily fluids tells you to go spend money on a doctor.

People have been pretty shitty recently in my day-to-day life. Feeling generally disenchanted with my fellow human beings and tired with dragging myself through their company. Literal disconnection from the world has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and a profound depression. There's no light at the end of the tunnel to be seen as of yet- still digging for it.