It's always enlightening when one of your close friends tells you frankly the way they view you while drunk. Because they're perceptive, they know me. And they didn't tell me anything I don't already know anyway. She made sure to preface it with an assurance that I shouldn't be offended.

She told me that I am the squishiest, non confrontational pushover she's ever met. And she's met a lot of people. This is a totally fair statement, and I wasn't offended. But it is very much in conflict with how I present and think of myself. I just don't like yelling. It makes me very anxious.

I can remember this being the case ever since I was a child. When my parents argued, they did so loudly and often. Nothing shakes your world like your parents going at each other. They tried to do it in their room and stay quiet, but I'd always sneak down into my sister's room to listen, cry and whisper the D-word fearfully.