I'm in a rut. It's sort of something I've felt the last week or so. Alway there, but not quite graspable. I'm bone tired. It hurt me to open a car door I was so sore earlier. I spent the day in the studio, finishing the steel box that's due at the end of class tomorrow. My box is not only the incorrect dimensions, but it's crooked as well. I came in outside of class- a lot. I am just sort of overwhelmed with this feeling that I am incapable of doing things the way they are supposed to be done. I can't work well with precision, and duplication is nigh impossible for me. If something is supposed to be exact dimensions, I can never seem to get it to them. And I don't think it's because I'm not trying hard enough- though some of it is due to my physical limitations. The all fast food all the time diet is starting to take its toll. I'm covered in cuts, bruises and other sundry injuries. No matter how many times I wash, I always look dirty. Seems like I'm enduring all of the hardship and exerting all of the effort necessary to produce good art but with none of the results. I really just want to curl up into a small ball and wither away. This semester is proving to be much too much for me. I'm not sure if I can handle it and it scares me.
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