At least this time, I made the bad man decision with my eyes open. Eyes held open with the devices that scratched Malcolm McDowell's cornea during the filming of a Clockwork Orange, staring at the fellow himself wearing a shirt that says "I AM A BAD IDEA" who is also verbally explaining this to me. It's a bad idea, I know it's a bad idea, and I was so desperate for the touch of another human being I did it anyway.

It's a good means of bleeding off some excess nervous energy. Just has to be done while mentally repeating the mantra 'don't catch feels, don't catch feels.'

It's easy to not get your heart broken when you don't hand it over to anyone. He can have my body for brief intervals, though.

7th floor, Main library

The view is expansive- the light from the slowly sinking sun painting all with a warm and languid light. As it sets it pulls its offered warmth away, leaving us less colored, loved. A swarm of ladybugs on the windowpane, tiny specks of red aglow with fading light. From such heights the world seems remote & easy to love.

It's amazing how close planes seem from up here.

To look down at birds with the insects is a unique and strange delight. Here the bugs occupy heights the birds do not- asylum in the clouds.

And as the sun descends, the edges of this colorful autumnal world go dark. In that moment just after the sunlight seems to shine with renewed and intense vigor- a final effort before laying down to rest. The slow drain of light from that point on like the gently fading afterglow of a well-spent orgasm. The climax of the day achieved, heat fades as the last glimmers of light brush the tops of the trees as if affectionately running a hand through a lover's hair before drifting off to a satisfied sleep.