Surprise Interview

Have I mentioned before what wonderful beings I have in my life? There's this one in particular named Germaine. First of all, cool ass name. Second of all, I don't even remember precisely how I first met her, but she has been nothing but amazingly kind and generous the entire time. This interview at her place of employment that I have this morning isn't even the third thing she's done to help me out. She's rescued me from my wallows and dragged me into the social sphere. Given me a place to rest my weary, costume'd head. Picked me up and drove me to and from parties she's thrown, way before I had a car. I don't believe I've ever been able to contribute in such a positive way to her life as she's contributed to mine. The last five years of my life would be widely different if it weren't for her. And she's the sort to modestly wave off any slobbing thankfulness too. This may be the closest I can come to thanking her in complete sentences. Had I tried to do this in person, she would smile graciously and suggest we get a coffee.

She also has awesome hair.

As I get ready for this interview I have ONLY because she made it so, I feel secure and stronger for the fact that I have someone like her in my life. I can only hope to be as good to those around me. Life inspiration.

grph.

all any of us really want is to be loved.

I miss feeling wanted. Dressing up with the understanding that someone else would take off my clothes. Special matching underwear and words written across body parts, secret messages for later. I miss intimacy and understanding. I miss the smell of dried sweat on skin, and when more than just the wind tangled my hair.

Most of all I miss being touched. Nothing makes material existence as real or as blissful as the arm around your waist from behind. Someone else's hand through my hair.

It's been a year since I had someone around. Been on a pilgrimage of sorts. Trying to be a better person. Trying to learn to love myself.

Learning to accept my flaws and limitations. Finding joy in small moments. To sleep in a way that occupies the entire bed. Went through my handkerchief drawer and was mildly surprised to find my pair of handcuffs.

Don't know much about what I want from life. But I want it to have love. Most of all, I want to be in love. 

July, or, the month of getting shit done.

This month I have to pack up my shit and move again. This will likely be my last house in Athens, assuming I can graduate this year. Everything looks good for that to happen. Maybe one or two more in thru session next summer, but I want to be in Atlanta or somewhere other than Athens next Autumn.

Just got cleared for the major with ARHI, should be able to have my choice of the remaining 4000 level courses to finish up the credits I need. I've already eaten my vegetables in this respect; having taken all the classes I didn't want to take, all that remain are the good ones I'll want to spend my attention on. When it's all said and done I do love my subject. It is something about which I can be passionate. I wish my passion had a lot more career prospects. Especially with that minor in Philosophy. I mean wow, employers are super gonna want a piece of this.

Going to throw a lot of things out when I move this time. Shake out a lot of the dirt of this funk, I hope.